Languages

hari ini aku akan mencuba blogging dengan menggunakan bahasa malaysia.

sudah lebih 1 tahun aku tak menggunakan bahasa malaysia untuk menulis sesuatu walaupun emak ku seorang guru bahasa malaysia. aku tak suka menggunakan bahasa msia kerana kebolehan aku menggunakan bahasa ini amat terhad. Aku lebih suka berbahasa inggeris kerana aku lebih biasa dengannya kerana selalu menggunakan inggeris sewaktu sekolah menengah .

 

(Zzz feels so weird)

(zZz forgot the msian word i want to use )

(walao weh, i give up )

 

As you can see, my bm sux. i can only use it naturally when im with my friends or family.

the minute you ask me to speak it consciously, i won't be able to.

if you want to hear me speak bm, try eavesdropping when i'm on the phone with my family. LOL

0ne main reason why i think my bm sux is the lousy bm music scene in malaysia.

During high school, i usually heard english or indonesian songs as it was nice. hence i learn to speak english through songs.

If there were more quality bm music in malaysia , i for surely will improve in my bm from hearing all those nice songs. LOL

 

one more thing.

wo bu hui chang hwa yi.

(not written properly obviously)

it's suppose to mean "I don't speak chinese"  in mandarin, i don't know how to write it in the romanized alphabets.

 

I have had to memorise this phrase since form 1 due to people mistaking i have the ability to speak chinese ( mandarin to be more precise ).

These few years since, i have been able to pick up some mandarin from my friends to be able to sometimes guess what other's are talking in mandarin. so ok abit la.

 

but since i've come to KL, the chinese people here speaks cantonese. which is wtf?

must be all those hong kong drama's affecting the chinese youth. zZzz. so now i'm stuck back at zero since i don't understand any cantonese at all even if it were vulgar words aimed at me.

I for one will not memorise " i dont speak cantonese" in cantonese.

 

one more thing about KL (im not sure if whole peninsular is like KL )

some chinese people here expect ALL chinese to be able to comunicate in at least mandarin among the dozens of chinese dialect here.

this is a pain in my fat ass since i DON'T speak chinese.

 

go in taxi , chinese driver speaks chinese to me, which obviously means where you want to go or something like that.

go shopping, chinese salesperson asks "how can i help you" in cantonese. if mandarin at least i understand abit la wtf.

go eat, tauke/waitress speaks chinese/cantonese.

meet new people. they speak chinese. zzZzz

meet friends, they speak chinese and i feel left out LOL , at least translate la. kasian me so alone dont understand.

now you know why it sometimes pisses me off. hopefully this wont happen in Australia.

 

To all who read this,

mind you that even though i am half chinese, i was never raised as a chinese or in chinese culture by my family. even if they did, they speak hokkien at home and not mandarin (obviously not cantonese as well.)

 

reasons for the non-chinese upbringing is probably because (proudly) of my mix heritage as well.

50% chinese

25% Kadazan ( Main aboriginal group of Sabah)

25% Jawa (indonesian)

 

heck, i wasn't raised as a chinese, as a kadazan or even as an indonesian.

guess I was raised as a MALAYSIAN. LOL (take the good and throw the bad of all customs i guess )

 

 

ALthough my mum ( half chinese , half jawa ) who married my dad ( half chinese, half kadazan) can speak some mandarin as she is teaching in a top private chinese school here in sabah ( muahahaha).

When she first came to msia after marrying my dad in Indonesia while studying together in Uni

(romantic right? This deserves another post another day )

 

she wasn't able to speak mandarin (obviously) so i guess my father's family tried not to use chinese so much while i was growing up.

love you mum!

 

I know i should and will probably adapt to mandarin/cantonese and learn some words . I also should say that those chinese people who are intraracist (racist among own race) towards chinese people who don't speak chinese should also adapt to english / malay as well. (heard of GLOBALISATION?)

 

 

I yearn for the day where Malaysians are so united that we can ALL speak at least 4 language fluently, ( BM, english, mandarin, hindu ).

maybe we can even combine all the major language of malaysia now to form a new MALAYSIAN language.

combining the mix off all of the former.

 

 

So to all my Chinese friends,please teach me some Chinese .

My Malay friends, Bahasa Malaysia

and My Indian friend, teach me some Hindi.

 

at least the vulgar words so i can know if someone is maki-ing me in that languages.

2nd Thoughts

Talked with Ai vui.

Shared some problems with her.

Really gave me a different perspective to my own problem.

Now i'm getting headaches thinking about what I should do.

worse. Mid year exams are just a few days away!!!! ( i can't afford to think about anything else)

One vice for another

Enjoying the view.
It's like watching a work of art. nothing wrong with it.
people watching is fun.
especially pretty girl people watching.
Who better to appreciate physical beauty then a guy who lacks it.
(*damn, she's hot!!! *)

END

Certain people i thought as my close friends turn out to be bia-tches.

It's the end of the relationship (friendship and other wise)

You killed good Daniel, now you have to live in a world where Evil Daniel exists. 

I was fine with beating you all in the future exams, but you had to contact me.I thought you would want to patch things up or end it nicely but you just had to screw me one last time.

You all been treating me like dirt all these while, i let it go because i really wanted to be your friend. but NO MORE, i wont take anymore lies and bullshit from you.

you said you tried to be friends with me, played chess with me/buy me lunch ONCE

well, I tried harder and yet you blame me.

"over-Sensitive,the way you act and the way you talk" were the words you described me and the reasons why you all just can't like me.

you have the nerves to say i don't have good friends, you even question how i am with my best friend.

you have the nerve to say i get worse results than you all, 

you dare say that the majority of you all dislike me and it's my fault? and again you blame it on me,

I ask you, what's wrong with me? besides "over-Sensitive,the way i act and the way i talk", all you do is just avoid it and repeat those reasons.

other people are fine with me, and yet you still blame me? look at yourself in the mirror first before you critisize people. look at who you are,  look at how far you've fallen.

you say u treasure friendship while in fact you are choosy with who you're friends with. you even treat strangers better than you treat me.

ALL these memories of you , i'll erase from my head, you don't deserved to be remembered. I never want to see or talk to you or your lackeys ever again. I do have to thank you though, you gave me reason to study, to kick your butts academically and show who's the real genius.

*UPDATE* 16 May 2008 : funny post by me when i was angry. I'm moving on now. please ignore this outburst. I'm not usually like this. only act this way when im really emotional

SAM fiesta.

SAM fiesta.
thank you to all members for the student council who organized it and the lecturers who helped and to the students who made it fun.
It started a bit slow since some people were being fashionably late so it took about half an hour from the starting time for the MPH to be quite full.

Another problem at the beginning is that SAM students are all conformist, most of the students were too "shy" to stand in the front of the stage. sad to say that the students took sanctuary and the snacks table at the back of the MPH.

Since I was "abandoned" by my friends, I took initiative to stand in the front albeit to the side.
From my experience and the Isaac Asimov books I've read, it doesn't really take a lot to move society, it just need someone to guide or start the trend. After a few minutes and more people came in , is when people started going to the front, or Maybe the snacks just ran out ,HAHAHA

It took awhile for people to loosen up and to get into the mood, people were still holding back , but after awhile everyone loosen up and started dancing and enjoying themselves. including me. HAHA

Tonight was the 1st time I really danced at a party of some sort. at 1st i was a bit reserved, but since i was feeling a bit sad and disappointed that time, i decided , what the heck, might as well dance since I'm already here. Even though i don't know how to dance whatsoever, i just tried to move with the music.(thanks Sarah and the rest of j4) Now I'm inspired to learn how to dance so next time there's an event like this, i can come prepared (hopefully impress someone as well)

Which reminds me of another point, Tonight i learn with example that I must sometimes forget about my problems and just let go and have fun. It doesn't matter what other people think of you when you don't care about it. Sometimes we just have to live life for ourselves and not for other people.

All in all it was a nice event, I'm sure the next event from the student council would be even better, I can't wait.

 

PS: sad to say i didn't have a camera to take pictures, i'll find someone's picture to upload next time but i doubt they have any picture of me XD

2 strikes out of 3

I'm so exhausted now, look at the time, spent the whole early morning doing laundry.
so let's do this systematically while im still sane.

1st, Valentine's has passed, she got the flowers.
What an akward moment i may say when i met her in the library after class.
I was still trying to find out at that time if she knew it was me(acted like nothing happened), because i didn't sign the card and i had the florist deliver the flowers to her class. Then her roommate came along and teasingly asked me what I did this Valentine's Day, so i was 100% sure by that time that they knew =.='''''.

I do have some regrets for Valentine's, 1st i wish i could have done better, maybe wrote a better card, be more romantic etc etc. The thing i regret the most was not asking her out(OMG!!!!) . I thought she had already made plans for the day. (an outing with friends especially"the" someone she likes), so i didn't want to ruin her nice outing.
I realised too late , that i should have at least tried to ask her, That's something i learnt during Valentine's.

2nd, the day after valentine's i promised my house mates , i would cook them a nice home cooked pasta dinner.I even asked 1 of my fellow Petronas scholar to come and some of my house mate's friend came as well. Little did i know what i was getting myself into. Sad to say the dinner didn't turned out well, because my usual technique of cooking for myself was not applicable when cooking for 10 people (including me)

there was problem after another while i was "cooking" and dinner was delayed for an hour, we served the best of the dishes to the girls 1st. Thanks to my house mates from salvaging the dinner!! and sorry to the girls (guest) who came for what happened, it won't happen again because i'll never cook for more then 2 or 3 people from now on.

so the previous two events were the 2 strikes, while on saturday, it was the 1st session for the reading project i joined. Here's a link: www.read2childen.blogspot.com
we'll soon have a facebook group up and some other things.
goal of the project is to teach or improve the english reading standard of children from the age of 7-12 in Sentul, an area in KL which from i heard isn't a well to do area.

it was a fun time to spend time with kids, knowing each of them have tremendous potential and you are playing a part in teaching them how to be the best they can be in the future.
I won't go into detail here, there'll soon be more post up at the project's blog and at the facebook group. needless to say, i hope we can really make a difference in these children's life.

so that's it for now. its 6 am Sunday, I didn't sleep at all after coming back from the reading project . been doing laundry for the past 4 hours. ( i dun mix colours, afraid they'll stain each other). I'm going to get some rest 1st and later spend the whole day trying to study for the specialist maths test on Monday. It'll be 10% of my internal assessment for my program , which amounts to 5% of my final results.

till next time.

Another Blog

since i have an account for www.read2children.blogspot.com
might as well make a new blog here.'
i vow to update this blog at least once a week.
may post more when i'm in a bad mood or just whenever i procrastinating.

this morning i didnt sleep at all watching volume 2 of "Heroes" , awesome story and abilities and characters. I can't wait for Volume 3. I wish i had Hiro Nakamura's power of controlling space and time since i'm always late in the morning. plus the power to control time is kind of unbeatable.

it's almost feb 14th now.
Kinda have a love/hate relationship with Valentine's
love = chance for new beginning
hate = fail / watching other people succeed

i sent someone flowers this year
1st time ever have i sent flowers to someone
Not sure whether it'll turn out alright.
even writing the card was hard.
i just hope she likes it and doesn't hate me

life's been pretty busy lately, tons of assignments, homework, test and presentation
plus i volunteered for read2children and the fact that i want to play online game.

currently playing Ran Online, but i think im going to quit soon, the reason why i play is to be closer friends with Jan, that feeling was from the time i liked her, but it seems she doesn't need me there since she has a Ran "Boyfriend" there, kinda makes me angry to see them.

all she does is show people her friendster profile (super cute girl in RL ) and tons of idiotic male who think by wooing her in game world, they'll get to woo her in real life.

i'm not going to play in a game with so many idiotic people

she enjoys perks beyond control, some people even give her free game points (which cost real money) for her to spend . I myself have to maintain a budget just to have barely enough points.
people give her valuable game items for free, she can always find a party to go leveling (necessary in high levels) while i'm always struggling to find one. I finally realized there's no use for me to keep playing when the only reason i play is non-existent .
*ps; i know im jealous*

from now on, when i play Ran , im going to play for myself at my own pace and not to bother about Jan or trying to catch up to her level anymore, she doesnt really need me.

*i'm always tempted to announce in the game that Jan is not single in real life, but im not evil, just curious what would happen, but because i'm considerate towards Jan, i'll let those idiot's fantasies stand for awhile*

by the way, downloading Perfect World now, going to play after i quit Ran.

I'm kind of in a bad mood now, i'll post more after i finish the rest of my homework tonight.
just realized that writing a blog like this is quite therapeutic for me because now i know where to vent out my feelings.