I feel like an idiot

Physically ,

i'm obese,

i have a BMI of 30. ,

i'm 25 kg overweight,

and my fitness seriously sucks.

Mentally,

I was born with potential,

but i'm so lazy that,

even other people with less talent can

surpass me just because their hard working.

Emotionally,

I've been heartbroken so many times

that i'm planning to live a single life to avoid heartbreaks ever again

although I can't seem to live without loving a girl with all my heart.

Still emo-ing from time to time.

Gaming,

I 've never been able to master a game even though i love to play games so much.

I still keep losing in counterstrike ( even though it's my favourite game)

I suck in dota ( which i only play because no1 plays anything else)

My online games characters never reach " high " level since it takes too long.

Financially

I 'm so poor, even though my family is an above average family.

I hate asking my parents for money because i think i don't deserve it because i'm not working yet ( and i;m kinda of a bad son)

I'm suppose to be easing my parents burden of me with this scholarship i have

but it seems the allowance the sponsors give for living in a CITY is insufficient.

I hate having to call my parents to wire me some extra money so i can eat/buy .

BLOODY HELL COST OF LIVING. if i live in ulu ulu place i wont complain.

SOCIALLY

I have no problem living life alone, although sometimes i do prefer having friends around me.

I try to be a good friend , in fact sometimes i try too hard until people use me and throw me

away after that.

I feel that no one cares about me.

I worry one day if i died , that no one will miss me or remember me.

I'd like to see how many people would miss me but i don't want to die prematurely. yet.

CONCLUSION

 i wonder why i still go on... wait. i do know

BECAUSE IT GOES AGAINST MY VERY BEING TO END IT PREMATURELY.

I BELIEVE THAT MY LIFE WILL BECOME BETTER AND ONE DAY I'LL BE ABLE TO SAY FUCK YOU TO THE PROBLEM I HAD, RISED ABOVE THE CHALLEGE LIFE THREW AT ME..

AND BECAUSE I THINK IT'S STUPID TO COMMIT SUICIDE. 

I HATE STUPIDITY OF ALL FORMS.( yes, even if it's mine )

ps: just because i mentioned SUICIDE does not mean i'm suicidal. 

pps: and yes i know my problems are trivial in nature.